My Life as a Bitch.

So here I am tryna mind my own business and helping people out with their issues even though I’m currently growing in a place where two of my favourite people has broke-up which means I’m having trouble being there for both person and its such a huge pressure. Let’s not forget that my favourite uncle and aunty who I somewhat adopted is leaving me soon which hurts me in so many ways. Cause, I’m not close with any of my relatives except the ones in Sri Lanka and knowing that I am attached to them makes me wanna throw trauma so they won’t leave but it’s me. Trust me, I tried my best to stop being clingy by focusing on myself which eventually worked. Yet, I’m still thinking about them day and night 😦 .Trying to get my lifestyle straight for now…

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Photo by Austin Guevara on Pexels.com

However, I was told to help someone who trusted me and I did. But it got to the point where the person was trying to control and start picking on me aka emotionally abusing me. Imagine picking on a real-life Satan whose minding her own business. Yeah, that’s how my actual character is. I could destroy a person life within seconds. Since my dad and my fav bros always taught me to be patient and not to be a bitch. I did on what as told. Regardless, how much you try, being a good kid, I hate hearing rumours about me. All those things they plan to do me while the main person is away. How am I suppose to react to it.

Shall I tell the “main person” on whats happening? Will she believe me? Do I go on vacation and break her promise? Or should I just deal with it cause God and Karma exist?

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Either way, I’m really liking this new lifestyle. Inhaling the smoke and watching it flow endlessly from my mouth as I’m in serious, with my deep thoughts. My bro has no clue about whats going on cause I decided to be lowkey and didn’t felt like being a crybaby, which I’m naturally am when he’s around. I’m currently insecure and have a ton of acne due to stress and being broken, so most of my soul is packed away til someone can be like

“OMG, You Really Need Me In Your Life!!!

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Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

If I had to be brutally honest, I’ve never trusted anyone or will ever be close with anyone besides my brothers. I don’t ever think they’ll leave me for something else or betray me in any kinds of way. Eventhough, I’m extremely clingy to them and they know that they’re my only friends I got. I don’t think, I’ll get amazing friends like them.

A friend came up to me to warn me about what they had mention to her which is to hurt my feelings by doing certain things to me. The funny part was that she told them that

“Do you really think she cares if you do stuff like that to her “.

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I guess that’s something I love about myself. Gosh, I love myself. But Seriously, my anger is still lingering on to me. Why would they wish to destroy me when I did nothing and helped them when they had serious personal problems of their own.

Like ARGHHH!!!

Therefore, I came to a conclusion that I permanently will remain as a bitch. Which means that you won’t be seeing such a thing called a sweet person in my case. According to Wikipedia, it mentions that it can indicate a strong or assertive woman. So I guess, I’m gonna keep that as my nickname. Jokes. I just wanna be me and I decided that I’m no longer talking to anyone and keeping my distance with humans unless I feel like they need someone to talk to. Besides that I should be fine cause like I said from the beginning, I have four amazing bros to annoy the shit out.

Photo on 2018-08-06 at 12.08 AM #2

Why I consider myself as a Sri Lankan, not Tamil

Whenever I tell people that I’m a Sri Lankan. People of my kind tend to stare at me weirdly and corrects me by telling me that I’m a Tamil. I do mention elderly Tamil people that I’m Tamil so it would be easier for them to communicate. So let me allow you to step into my life as I post interesting free pics which is not part of my copyright regarding on my journey in life. Maybe it will allow you to understand me a bit better.

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So years ago, my mother aka amma planned to give birth to me. Due to Circumstances, my mother travelled all the way from Jaffna to give birth to a Legend, in south Sri Lanka. imagine those fire routes, LTTE and the Sri Lankan army during that time. Seems scary, isn’t it?
Anywayz, I arrived in Canada and eventually got to be exposed to all sorts of religion and was grew up with a ton of amazing Sri Lankan family. I was raised by a Tamil Christian family and Sinhala family. practically grew up with my cousin who was Hindu and family friends that were Tamil Muslims. The best part was that I was in the hands of no harm and was not killed. (being sarcastic and rolling my eyes)

 

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I guess, changing to more than 5 schools seemed stressful cause I was either had more friends, had no friends, bullied or maybe had the world against me. I was upset but I didn’t really give a shit.

When the Tamil genocide started, I was getting bullied by anyone who was Tamil and if you weren’t Tamil, it was your lucky day. I was practically emotionally bullied. Believe it or not, I got to see a ton of false Tamil considering themselves as Tamil Tigers or being a pro-Tamil. Sadly, I’m seeing it on Social media. Even though I was born as a Sri Lankan Tamil and was from Jaffna. Their excuse was that I had to born in “TAMIL EELAM” to be a Tamil. In this case, I wasn’t. As you grow older, you tend to wonder how stupid they were. Cause according to the words they mentioned, they were born outside of “TAMIL EELAM” so they “THEMSELVES” would not be considered as a Tamil. But since it’s me I don’t give a shit. This continued til the world has released a news which is false that “The LTTE Leader has been killed”. However, the Non-Tamils continued to get on my nerves. If I had to be brutally honest, I did got to see the people who truly cared and still managed to be my friends thru all that. btw, this is when I start considering myself as a Sri Lankan Tamil cause I was a teen and was heartbroken. Plus, I wasn’t a huge fan of people picking on the Sinhalese either. That’s how my conclusion to that came.

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Recently, I had followed a pro-Tamil person and I actually enjoyed everything til I found out that I felt extremely uncomfortable. Dragging Tamil people down, showing hate towards the light skin Tamil people which felt that I was accepting something that I was personally against. the person was also proving me wrong on why I should become a Tamil and not a Sri Lankan.I was later considered confused and strange to them. I later saw social media celebs showing hate on the word “Sri Lankan”. It was annoying and I personally felt that the Tamil people who were telling the world that they were part of the Tigers got on my nerves. I personally didn’t want hatred. But this is what I can personally say to all those pro-Tamil and false Tamil tigers.

Will do a quick history of our Sri Lankan war regarding on what had happened in a different post.

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The Tamil Tigers who ruled Jaffna at the time had people under control. There were “things” that happened but it wasn’t serious. Everyone was under control. No one spread hatred to one to another. Food was given and shared. They made programs where its called a masterclass at the moment where people got to learn thing for free. it was safe for a female to walk down the street knowing that no men would whistle at her. there so much more but it takes a real human to know. I heard a few stories regarding about them and I will accept them since the LTTE leader had apologized back then regarding about the Muslim Tamil. The main point of the Tamil Tigers was that they wanted a peaceful country and have an independent place where we have an actual identity. This has nothing to do with the Sinhalese people at all. Its based on the government, the British royal and the foreigner who raided Sri Lanka. We’re just recreating a new problem for a community where we can end it the easy way. Not all problems are permanent, just remember. The main point of this blog is to show how better us humans can do by being united.

It Takes nothing to join the crowd, it takes everything to stand alone. Hans F.Hansen

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Few Changes

I want to keep my blog real. where I can be able to talk about real things like war, money, poverty, love, prostitutes, LGBT, Serial killers, Paranormal, Racism, discrimination and much more….

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Maybe change the world and make it a better place. The main reason why people are degrading people is that no one has learned to understand or educate themselves. There’s an actual power to that. I will continue to do make blogs about beauty, my thoughts, lifestyle and food as well as Serious issues that are happening to the world. You don’t need to accept the things I say and I will perfectly fine cause it’s better to be different. Btw, I did some serious research and had interviewed people within that category so you can sense how it is to be standing in their shoes.

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P.s. What made me have sudden thoughts like this is that… There’s no point in me studying Law if I haven’t done my part especially when I have power in Social Media.

P.s.s. I think that’s how I would end up looking after I have people arguing and going against me for giving a voice to people who have none.

Low-key, Unexpected Failures & Time.

I decided to be low-key after having issues in my life. I swear that I contained bad luck starting from December 2017 til now. So far, I had been procrastinating, the list that I had planned to do for me to become successful ended up being a failure as well as the fact that my so-called support system has been missing cause someone who seems attractive has swift them away. God bless my soul, and I MEAN IT!!! I remember getting into a massive argument about how I wasn’t a huge fan of them supporting the “person” for betraying aka using me and I no longer want to be part of their life. Yet, I made no sense to them, and it doesn’t bother me, no more. Will remain invisible til they feel like “Damn, she’s right”.

From what I had done so far to make me feel happy:

• Deactivate all my social media accounts
• Put my phone on airplane mode which means that I no longer won’t be part of anyone’s life til I get my life straight.

Sadly, I got no ideas, my so-called bestie nor had my deceased grandfather came to help me. Which is oddly strange, they’re usually the ones who comfort me when I’m sad or lonely. Often, life is filled with tests. To enter the next level, you must excel one. Yet, I’m struggling badly. It got to the point where I was desperate and decided to go to the bad path. Of course, I had told someone because I didn’t want to disappoint the person who was there for me since day one aka my Thambi. He did somewhat be okay even though I wasn’t specific. But he did write a message, but this part caught my eye.

“Be smart, think positive, push forward, and don’t give up because hard times now means good times are to come.”

So, I dropped my plans and decided to be patient and try to expand my skills into a different field of studies. It ended up being a flop. The classes that I took eventually got cancelled and I was extremely heartbroken. None of my plans is working out well at all. Not going to lie, but I don’t know what my plans for the future are no more. I do distract myself from keeping myself from falling into depression. Hopefully, it works.

Please excuse me for loving the Kardashian a bit, but Kourtney once said on Episode 15 of Season 14: Diamonds Are Forever.

“I’m realizing that I don’t need my sister’s permission, ideas or feedback to do my own thing. Everybody finds their path at different times.Whether its interior design or something else. I’m just in a place right now in my life with work and relationship where I just need to take in charge and really live life for myself and my kids.”

 

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Krishani Official – It Might Be The End…

My bestfriend and I had started doing vlogs on June 10th. Apparently, I was in charge of the editing and making sure the video was appropriate to share with the public. Since no one really knows me, I felt that Youtube will allow me to be real and show my lifestyle. Hopefully, our Youtube channel makes people smile during their horrible days. That’s what our channel goal is. The other excuse is that our computer storage is filled up. Hopefully, I could free some space on the computer.

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That was the actual blog post I was about to published months or maybe a year ago. But now that the Youtube Channel has been put aside due to sudden changes in our life. Such as the fact that our schedule doesn’t allow us to meet each other or accomplish certain things.
Therefore, the vlog has come to end or so….Maybe…. But who knows…

But if i had to be brutally honest, I decided to avoid any kind of teamwork for now #peace

Some of the following videos that I shot and edited on my own. The rest is private due to the fact I was a bit annoyed.

“But that doesn’t mean I will stop making and editing videos. Currently getting my life straight at the moment.”

Small Dream. Short Blog.

I haven’t had the time to do blogs lately or go on social media. It’s not because I’m avoiding you guys or so but I got 12 pending yet incomplete blogs waiting to be published. Will post them when I got some time. Til Then here’s a pic of me dreaming to settle in one of the most amazing countries I heard of. Not sure why my role model a.k.a Akka who was raised there chose not to stay. Oh well, need to convince my parents that I no longer plan to live in Canada.
P.s. Exams tend to make me dream at times.
P.s.s. I’m currently working on a big project 😛 (Hopefully it goes well)

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Repost: @james_clear

I found this picture with a bunch of quotes found under it on Insta.

The success you see others experiencing is rarely as sexy as it appears to be

 

Repost: @tiabhuva : I came across this post on Reddit – initially written by @james_clear .

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1. People naturally want to share the most photogenic version of their life and seldom discuss the process behind the scenes.
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2. The results of success are usually public and highly visible, but the process behind success is often private and hidden from view.
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3. The deception of success is greater now than ever before because social media curates the best, happiest and biggest moments to show us.
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4. When your screen is filled with examples of the strongest, richest, and smartest, it’s easy to overvalue the outcome & undervalue the process.
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5. You start to think there are people out there who have somehow “hacked life” such that there are only rewards and no consequences.
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6. You can’t cherry-pick your favourite parts of a lifestyle. When you choose the benefits of an action, you also choose the drawbacks.
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7. The great trick of success is that to actually achieve it you have to want the public rewards and the hidden costs.

8. If you’re not willing to 100 percent swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.

9. Maybe jealousy and envy would fade if we knew the full story behind success. Maybe we would be less likely to put people on a pedestal.

Officially Blogging…

To make things short, I’m officially back, for real 😛
I couldn’t blog for like a year due to stuff, I kinda needed some time to be away from blogging cause of health issue and some “stuff”.(will blog about it when I feel ready.) It was extremely stressful, I got in a car accident, almost lost a person (thankfully, they’re okay) and I myself wasn’t in a good position in life. There’s more, but I think, I should shoot out positivity in my blog. Surprisingly, I could smile all this. For those who don’t know, when I get stressed out where I actually want to cry my soul out which will end in a month or so. I would actually do something stupid. I guess that’s how my rebel personality is created. My favourite uncle who is a known photographer took us to Wonderland. My family and I just went through so many emotions after hearing that someone I love more than anyone was in the hospital. Sadly, as the oldest child, I couldn’t keep my emotions in (will continue with the story later). Anyways, my godmother thought it was good for me and my siblings to do something fun. so, we went to something, got on rides and I manage to go on the Behemoth. My mother still wonders why but I haven’t mentioned anything…
The only reason, I started blogging is because of the cute messages that I get from you also known to I got an msg from an amazing yet talented Indian on how funny my posts were, a year ago :P. I personally don’t take these msgs seriously unless they mention something from my posts and tell me something related to it. But you had no clue on how much it made my day. What made it extremely amazing is when it’s someone who doesn’t live in Canada. Lastly, I have two people or more who are taking in control of all my social media and career. God Bless My Soul ❤

01

Spring Makeup Favourites 2014

Hello my beauties, I just got some products that my mom bought me. This means that I get to review them and tell you guys, which are my favourite. Just to let you know, I hardly write posts for makeup; since, I don’t wear makeup. I just wear them, when the times come or when I feel like it which is rare. Anyway, spring has officially arrived in Canada. Which, I’m super excited to start writing blog posts about my adventures, again. Why don’t I start typing away my favourite makeup and review them for you 🙂 .

Right now, I’m currently wearing Clinque hula skirt nail polish. It has that spring colour and theme. I’m just wearing it cause I know that it would be something that M.I.A. would wear. Not sure, if it’s just me but the smell of the nail polish is not that strong, comparing to the others. Besides that the colour stands out beautifully. The two other Clinque nailpolish I have are Clinque Splash and Clinque Summer In The City.

The Chubby sticks that I currently own are Pudgy Peony, Mega Melon and Curviest Caramel. Once applied on the lips, it feels moisturize as if it was a chapstick with pigments. You wouldn’t need to worry if its look good with your skin tone since the colour fades and gives out a nice neutral colour. If you’re a type of person, who doesn’t enjoy wearing lipstick at all, like me. Then, I insist, that you should try out this product. I would say that it would be something that I would enjoy wearing, everyday.

When it comes to eyeliner, I would stick to L’Oreal Pencil Perfect Self-Advancing Eyeliner, which I mention before on my makeup post. If I do find new eyeliner, I will promise to update you guys with it. The reason on why, I chose not to wear it is because this eyeliner was easy to apply on my eye comparing to the others. Check it out if you want to know more about this eyeliner. Link is posted 🙂 https://theduchessofceylon.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/makeup-favourites/

For my face, I enjoy wearing BOBBI BROWN BB Cream SPF 35.It gave me more than I expected. Anyway, as I applied the BOBBI BROWN BB Cream SPF 35, on my face, it hid everything really well such as scars, uneven tones and much more. I just treat this product as a foundation eventhough foundation and Bb cream are a bit different. I got a really nice natural finish and hope that you will enjoy this product as I did.

p.s. there will be another makeup post next month

Being Lazy

isn’t it funny that certain people can’t keep their promises but they expect other people to keep their promise.well thats me,right now.I have been so busy that I haven’t followed my schedule.I even hadn’t done any blogs which makes feel like im letting people down.But I know that people will understand.I might be too lazy to check for any mistakes on my blog before posting this.Oh well, I dun think that matter right now. I haven’t done any makeup favourites.I had been thinking of my future and all I know is that im way behind.For some reason, there is something missing in my life. I do not know what it is and I have a feeling that its obvious. what ever it is . im gonna be leaving it alone because I need to focus on my studies. I have so much going on. at the end of my studies, im gonna look similar to Albert Einstein and have tons of smoke coming out of my ears. whenever I had done any sort of test that involves with math.I end up acting weird which is freaky but then again, I can’t focus or be serious at the time.Just one more week , til I get to free myself. i had been leaving my stuffs unattended like a wallet , laptop and etc.i asked a stranger to look after them for me and it looks like it’s in a good condition and none of my money had been taken. im glad that there are nice people around my area.i can’t wait for autumn, so i can take pictures and post it on my Facebook page. im still working on the page and hope it becomes a great socializing page but im still looking for a name for my page since i do not want my blog and photography to be mixed up together.All i can say right now is that my Facebook page will have everything that involves with me whether it’s a blog , photography, my thoughts and anything that had interested me to do .Til then, see ya and i hope i do well on my test and get good grades.i’ll try not promising anything unless i know i can keep it.