The Duchess Of Ceylon

So here I am tryna mind my own business and helping people out with their issues even though I’m currently growing in a place where two of my favourite people has broke-up which means I’m having trouble being there for both person and its such a huge pressure. Let’s not forget that my favourite uncle and aunty who I somewhat adopted is leaving me soon which hurts me in so many ways. Cause, I’m not close with any of my relatives except the ones in Sri Lanka and knowing that I am attached to them makes me wanna throw trauma so they won’t leave but it’s me. Trust me, I tried my best to stop being clingy by focusing on myself which eventually worked. Yet, I’m still thinking about them day and night 😦 .Trying to get my lifestyle straight for now…

However, I was told to help someone who trusted me and I did. But it got to the point where the person was trying to control and start picking on me aka emotionally abusing me. Imagine picking on a real-life Satan whose minding her own business. Yeah, that’s how my actual character is. I could destroy a person life within seconds. Since my dad and my fav bros always taught me to be patient and not to be a bitch. I did on what as told. Regardless, how much you try, being a good kid, I hate hearing rumours about me. All those things they plan to do me while the main person is away. How am I suppose to react to it.

Shall I tell the “main person” on whats happening? Will she believe me? Do I go on vacation and break her promise? Or should I just deal with it cause God and Karma exist?

Either way, I’m really liking this new lifestyle. Inhaling the smoke and watching it flow endlessly from my mouth as I’m in serious, with my deep thoughts. My bro has no clue about whats going on cause I decided to be lowkey and didn’t felt like being a crybaby, which I’m naturally am when he’s around. I’m currently insecure and have a ton of acne due to stress and being broken, so most of my soul is packed away til someone can be like

“OMG, You Really Need Me In Your Life!!!“

If I had to be brutally honest, I’ve never trusted anyone or will ever be close with anyone besides my brothers. I don’t ever think they’ll leave me for something else or betray me in any kinds of way. Eventhough, I’m extremely clingy to them and they know that they’re my only friends I got. I don’t think, I’ll get amazing friends like them.

A friend came up to me to warn me about what they had mention to her which is to hurt my feelings by doing certain things to me. The funny part was that she told them that

“Do you really think she cares if you do stuff like that to her “.

I guess that’s something I love about myself. Gosh, I love myself. But Seriously, my anger is still lingering on to me. Why would they wish to destroy me when I did nothing and helped them when they had serious personal problems of their own.

Like ARGHHH!!!

Therefore, I came to a conclusion that I permanently will remain as a bitch. Which means that you won’t be seeing such a thing called a sweet person in my case. According to Wikipedia, it mentions that it can indicate a strong or assertive woman. So I guess, I’m gonna keep that as my nickname. Jokes. I just wanna be me and I decided that I’m no longer talking to anyone and keeping my distance with humans unless I feel like they need someone to talk to. Besides that I should be fine cause like I said from the beginning, I have four amazing bros to annoy the shit out.